Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
