chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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