they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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