girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
