Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
