It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
