he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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