I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
worst night to have a conscience
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
