TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you win again, gameday.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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