After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize