don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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