I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
