I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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