she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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