I feel like I'm in dance class right now
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize