Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When are your genitals available?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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