i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
