Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
