Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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