You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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