we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
