the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
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