Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
