WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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