She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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