i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
