tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
