Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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