do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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