btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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