she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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