shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm passing your future prison.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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