let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
