well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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