Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.