ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked