Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
