I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize