i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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