and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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