Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
