Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
