Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
