lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
