im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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