Ambien. No doubt about it.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
