how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
