With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
