the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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