I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
