i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
