do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize