You just made me feel so damn special
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
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I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
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And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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