I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
