TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize