she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
