Pants 0. Shit 1.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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