ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍