I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.