I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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