I think my vagina is haunted
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
